Where Logic Meets Love

Fancy Hotel Room = Sex?

Monday, May 10, 2010

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Fancy Hotel Room = Sex? | Faith Permeating Life
This is a follow-up to my last post on the Family Foundations magazine.

We received our last issue in the mail recently (I don't feel the need to renew just to have something to shake my head at). Remember how I said they had a couple that was basically like, "C'mon, it's our wedding night, of course we're going to have sex"? The latest issue contained something very similar. Again, there was an article about an NFP-practicing couple who were apparently being held up as a model because the guy had "shocked my bride-to-be by stating we will use NFP or nothing." (Uncompromising decrees -- what a great foundation for a marriage.)

It alternated between his and her points of view, and his side of the story, about a month into their marriage, contained this gem:

My uncle's firm rented the Presidential Suite in the Waldorf-Astoria in New York City and after the event the room was paid for the night. I knew we were a couple of days into the fertile time of our cycle. But come on, a romantic evening in a loaded hotel room? Some things are just too good to pass up!

I agree -- don't pass up the free hotel room, or the romantic evening. But if you're fertile and not wanting to get pregnant, then yeah, skip the intercourse and celebrate one of the myriad other ways you can be romantic and intimate. I don't understand the mindset of "romantic evening must equal intercourse."

It gets better: Apparently she didn't understand how to interpret her cycle, and since they apparently didn't talk about it at all (??) he never told her she was fertile. She just assumed that she must be infertile if he was initiating sex, and he assumed that she knew she was fertile and didn't care since she "let" him do it. And that's how they got pregnant a month into their marriage.

And it was a "wonderful gift from God," because, of course, that's the lesson of the article -- it doesn't matter how much you suck at practicing NFP or how much you let your hormones or your laziness or your romantic hotel room dictate your sex life instead of prayer and planning -- you can always assume it was for the best because obviously God wouldn't have let you get pregnant if He didn't want you to be pregnant.

Honestly, I haven't figured out what this magazine is trying to preach, exactly. It seems to me that all it's trying to do is twist NFP so that all the couples who ended up having more kids than they wanted to because they were too impatient or horny or whatever to practice NFP mindfully can assuage their guilt by reading about couples just like them.

And honestly, I think it's worth striving for something more than that.

2 comments:

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  2. The story of our honeymoon...sort of. (I think she ovulated during the ceremony. The wedding photos look great.)

    Yes, some things ARE too good to pass up, but that doesn't mean that God is calling you to make a baby.

    CCL makes some MAJOR errors with their theology on sex. They incorrectly believes that there is nothing wrong with marital intercourse just to relieve the sexual urge. Babies are always good (what's responsible parenthood?), so making a baby in a marriage couldn't possibly be sinful. I think this bad theology repels many Catholics, which is why they don't use NFP. These have been explicitly rejected by TOB.

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