This is a follow-up to Sunday's post. If you don't want to read about sex... don't read it.
I want to add one caveat to what I said about how most people use rules and fear when talking to kids about sex. In order to entice kids to wait until marriage, Christian parents and pastors alike reach for the same story: The Myth of Amazing Honeymoon Sex.
Jon Acuff describes it well in his hilarious book, Stuff Christians Like, saying that Christians like to rank honeymoon sex "slightly higher than the second coming of Christ." In other words, virgin Christians are really excited about Christ coming back and all, but they really hope they get that one chance to have sex first.
Why? Because they've been told that all of their hopes and dreams and expectations about sex are going to come true in the sex they'll have immediately after getting married.
This great post from the Good Women Project sums it up nicely:
In an effort to combat the encroachment of culture and make sex seem so utterly and completely worth waiting for, Christians can unintentionally spin lies of their own.What a terrible lie to tell our children.
[This preacher's] was, “Don’t bother packing anything for your honeymoon. You don’t need clothes. You just need a jumbo pack of Gatorade to stay healthy for all the amazing sex you’ll be having. You can get dehydrated, you know.”
Explain this to me: How exactly are we setting our children up for magical and amazing honeymoon sex by degrading sex for the first 18+ years of their life and giving them no practical education about sex?
How is it doing them a favor to make sex seem like a terrible, dangerous thing... except, of course, for when they're married and will suddenly be an expert at having mind-blowing sex?
The false promise of honeymoon sex is just another lie told out of fear, a last-ditch effort to keep kids abstinent until marriage without having to actually talk to them about sex.
Don't you think that if kids knew how much patience and effort it takes to make sex really, really good, that they would be more likely to want to wait until they were with someone they felt completely safe with and committed to, than if they thought it was going to be super-fantastic the very first time?
I do. I think we owe it to our kids to stop lying to them and start educating them.
Were you told the honeymoon myth? Do you think there's any merit to it?