Where Logic Meets Love

3BoT Vol. 1: Three Books Every Couple Should Read

Thursday, October 6, 2011

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3BoT Vol. 1: Three Books Every Couple Should Read | Faith Permeating Life

Welcome to the first-ever Three Books on Thursday!

This month's edition of Three Books on Thursday is Three Books Every Couple Should Read.

#1: Boy Meets Girl by Joshua Harris
I never read Joshua's famous first book, I Kissed Dating Goodbye. This one is subtitled, Say Hello to Courtship. It's a Christian book aimed at people who aren't yet married, though I think there's valuable wisdom for any couple. I don't agree with everything he says (particularly his chapter on gender roles), but he has some great, practical advice -- like how to build good communication skills, why you should always be authentic around your partner, how to talk through regrets from past relationships, and the importance of seeking advice from other, more experienced couples. If you want to know why Mike and I saved our first kiss for our wedding day, it's in this book.

#2: The Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman
This is a classic. I love it because the author invites you to consider that, if you feel your partner isn't expressing their love for you enough, perhaps your partner just "speaks" love in a different way than you do. Not wrong, just different. Identifying your love "language" and your partner's means that you can 1) recognize signs of love where you might not have seen them before, 2) articulate to your partner how you can most feel loved (e.g., hearing "I love you" vs. having something done for you), and 3) learn to show your love in a way that your partner will recognize more quickly. It gives you an important framework for understanding love, whether your relationship is on the rocks or you just want to make sure your partner knows how much you love them.

#3: Spousonomics by Paula Szuchman and Jenny Anderson
Longtime readers have heard me mention this book more than once. As an overly logical person, I love this book because it doesn't spend time digging through your feelings about whether or not your partner does the dishes or wants to have sex with you. They use straightforward math and economic principles (in plain English) to explain common-sense strategies for tackling household chores, parenting, and -- yes -- sex. Every principle is illustrated with stories from real couples they interviewed. To top it off, the authors are hilarious!

What other books would you recommend to couples? Leave them in comments!

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  1. I also totally recommend the Love Languages book!

    Another I recommend is For women only: what you need to know about the inner lives of men. It's based on surveys of guys, and it's really fascinating. There's also a for men only one too. http://www.amazon.com/Women-Only-about-Inner-Lives/dp/1590523172

  2. @Lozzz123
    Awesome, thanks! I have heard of that book, but it's on my very long Books-I-Want-to-Read list. I guess I'll have to move it closer to the top :)

  3. So I don't really have any good recommendations as I've never really any books like this, but thanks for recommending Spousonomics. It seems intriguing so I think I might need to check it out.

  4. @Brie
    You should! It's a really useful book.

  5. Our minister had us read "Saving Your Marriage Before it Starts" by Drs. Les & Leslie Parrott. We really found it valuable, and have even reread it since being married. I highly recommend it!

  6. @Lauren
    Awesome, thanks for the recommendation! I have heard of the Parrotts before but hadn't been recommended a specific book by them. Thanks!

  7. @Jessica
    You're welcome! It's a super quick read, too. Always a plus. :)


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