At the end of every month, I share my favorite comments from that month's posts, and you're invited to do the same and link up below!
The topics on the blog were kind of all over the place this month, but as usual you all gave me some great comments to choose from!
I found I wasn't alone in discussing The Problem with Christian Radio.
YES YES YES. That's exactly how I feel too! There are times I really do like listening to Christian music - it truly can calm me down and some of it is pretty good. As long as I mix it in with other music that I enjoy - I like it. But yeah, it's so frustrating because they talk about things only from ONE point of view - assuming that ALL Christians feel and think the same way. Guess what? WE DON'T. I feel like it's a reflection on a huge part of the "Christian" culture. As much as I love the church I work at, I usually don't feel safe to share my opinions because it's just assumed that everyone thinks the same way.
jewelfox explained why Christian radio bothers her:
I listened to one K-LOVE host talk about how awesome and necessary spanking is, and freaked out and slammed the car door on the way out as we parked. My dad beat me when I was very little, and used those same "Christian" teachings as justification for it.
And Laura said:
I thought I was the only one who loves Christian music but hates the politics and the Dobsonism! For a while there was a local station that played music only, no talk, but it seems to have fizzled out, with only K-Love remaining. So I stick to mix CDs.
I linked up with Modern Mrs. Darcy's Perspectives on Life and Love Carnival to share 3 Reasons I Didn't Get Married "Too Young."
Funny, nobody's ever told me I was "too young" to move in with my boyfriend two weeks before my 23rd birthday! But upon hearing that we've been living together happily unmarried for 16 years, some people say, "Wow, that's a long time!" yet I rarely hear it exclaimed that 16 years is a long time for someone in her late 30s to have been married--even though I think I read somewhere that the average American marriage is 12 years? It's true, though, that most cohabiting couples either marry or split up within about 2 years, so we are unusual in that way and don't mind being congratulated on it!
Like you, I feel that I did my most important maturing before age 23 and that a relationship can become adequately mature in a couple of years. (In our case, we met 4 years before and became a couple 2 years before we moved in together.) As for life experience, a big part of that came from college, and then there's a lot of life that we've experienced together! I don't much enjoy doing things alone, so the "freedom" of being able to move to some other city where I don't know anyone was not appealing at all. Daniel is more of an introvert and does like alone time, but he also highly values having a "companion" (I suspect the female main characters called "companions" in "Doctor Who" heavily influenced his expectations) to share his adventures. Honestly, the life experiences I most wanted to have involved sex and parenting much more than a jet-setting career, and it's a lot more fun and less stress having those experiences with a partner than in the singles scene.
I loved what Queen of Carrots had to say:
Great thoughts. The right time to get married is when you are both sure you've found the person you want to spend the rest of your life with, and planning your lives doesn't make sense without each other, whether you are 19 or 59.
When it comes to whether you need to "live your life" before you get married--being married *is* part of living life. The options are different, but that's the way life is. Every choice we make eliminates others.
I do sometimes wonder whether we had kids too young, but I think it will all work out in the end. Certainly our financial position is much worse now because of it, but I'll be 47 when my youngest two turn 18. I'll still have time for a full second career (or switching my attention fully to what I've been doing part-time). Meanwhile most of our professional acquaintances will just be starting to navigate middle school.
And Lesley found her perspective has changed over time:
Really fun to read about your story in getting married young. I got married young too, and it's been a very healthy and wonderful 7 years since. I appreciate Nikklana's comment above because she acknowledges that everyone's experience with marriage is unique. I loved getting married young but I don't advocate it for everyone. And, as I age, I find myself saying (about other people)... "They are WAY TOO YOUNG to get married!" ha. I forget how young I was too.
Finally, Melbourne on My Mind had some interesting thoughts about Is "Faking Gay" the Best Response to Bigots?.
I'm inclined to agree with you. It's probably not the best way to go about things - instilling further fear in bigots is definitely not going to help the situation.
But at the same time, if the gay employee is upset about the customer's reaction, the co-workers are probably focusing on "How can I make my friend/co-worker not upset in the quickest amount of time?" rather than "I should take the opportunity to teach a bigot about the error of their ways by using a logical argument."
Because let's face it - bigots aren't usually likely to listen to rational explanations once they're on their high horse... *sigh*
Also, a final thanks to everyone who completed the reader survey this month!