Where Logic Meets Love

Blog Comment Carnival: May 2013

Friday, May 31, 2013

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Blog Comment Carnival: May 2013 | Faith Permeating Life

At the end of every month, I share my favorite comments from that month's posts, and you're invited to do the same and link up below!

This has been a rough month for me personally, and I think my posts have reflected that. So I'm particularly grateful to everyone who's provided support and encouragement to me this month.

But first, I want to share the different game recommendations I got in response to my 9 Tips for Hosting a Kick-Ass Game Night.
  • Emily likes Imaginiff and card games like BS.
  • Queen of Carrots suggested a game called "Succotash," which is similar to the game I'd always heard called "Celebrity" but with more than just famous people.
  • Katie mentioned playing "Sculptionary," like Pictionary but with clay.
  • Nikkiana had several suggestions, including Mao and Fluxx.
  • And Becca recommended Zendo, which led to a conversation about how much I love (and Mike hates) the game Mastermind.

I wrote about people's judgmental reactions to Angelina Jolie's double mastectomy in The Opposite of Empathy.

Becca didn't find the news as new or weird as many people did:
Great point. I know I sometimes jump to judgment and forget the empathy.

In this particular situation, though, my reaction would have been the same as yours if I'd gotten the news the way you did (instead of by reading this post!). I first read about someone choosing prophylactic mastectomy because of extreme family history of breast cancer NINETEEN YEARS AGO in Redbook magazine (which presented it very empathetically, as a difficult choice that made sense for this individual)--so it's old news to me! I can't recall if the BRCA gene had been identified yet at that time or if it was just that all of the woman's female relatives on both sides had died of breast cancer so her likely risk was huge. I remember discussing the article with my boyfriend (the reason I recall exactly when I read it is that I read it in the hallway while waiting for him to finish a final exam) and agreeing that it sounded weird but made sense, since the woman was done breastfeeding so didn't need her breasts--but he wasn't one of those breast-obsessed men.

That's a great cartoon! I think the analogy is reasonable, if imperfect.

And Krys, whom I'd mentioned as the person who taught me about BRCA, shared her own thoughts:
Eeeee, I had no idea that I was the reason you learned about BRCA! I don't know why but I feel like that's kinda cool. :)

I absolutely agree with what you're saying here, too. I understand why it seems like a crazy surgery to some people, especially when they've never even heard of a BRCA gene mutation. But "Why does it matter? and Who are you to care?" is exactly the question for people to ask themselves. Angelina Jolie made a choice. I made a choice. Other people with the same mutation choose no surgery at all, and that's okay, too. What matters is doing what's right for yourself, and your body, and your risk factors. And being empathetic to those who may choose differently.

I talked about how I was struggling with Rejection and the Frustration of Lacking Control, and got a lot of great suggestions about how to deal with rejection, uncertainty, and feeling out of control.

Queen of Carrots validated my feelings:
Rejection and uncertainty both hurt. A lot. I don't know if anyone is really good at uncertainty, but it always helps me to just focus on now. Most of the trouble with uncertainty lies in the future. Is now OK? Can I do something now? Then that's all there is.

Hope new opportunities open up for you soon!

Q understood what I was going through and talked about how she deals:
Ugh, sorry to hear about this string of no's, Jessica. Even though intellectually you might know that you've been doing everything right, it's still difficult not to let it affect your confidence. It's usually hard for me to reconcile disparity between emotional and intellectual knowledge, especially in situations where I'm not in control, so I always end up doing a lot of journaling to process. Because the worst part is the waiting for it to pass/settle.

And maybe this isn't necessarily the healthiest way to cope, but while waiting and sitting in uncertainty and trying to trust (and wait for my emotions to catch up), I go ahead and do something that I enjoy and where I also feel in control, whether that's cleaning my apartment or doing my finances or having a really good discussion about an article or book I read.

And Lozzz123 is dealing with the same thing right now:
I'm getting a lot of job rejections at the moment too and it is very discouraging, so I can understand your frustration.

I guess the main thing that keeps me going during the uncertainty is looking back over past times that were unpleasant or different to what I'd hoped and realising how God worked through those times and led me to an outcome ever better than what I'd hoped. Another thing I used to do (but forgot about until now) was I kept a 'thankfulness' journal where I wrote a couple of good things each day that I could thank God for. That helped me to see that just because things weren't going well in one particular area it didn't mean everything sucked! I think now might be a good time for me to start that again...

Finally, I talked about the different answers I see to the question of Should the Boy Scout Policy Change Be Considered Progress? and really appreciated alice's thoughtful response:
I can definitely see your point, and I wholeheartedly agree that 'progress, not perfection' is the most productive way to look at these issues. That said, I've stayed out of the BSA decision publicly, because although I am *deeply* grateful that gay scouts won't face heart-rending choices about staying closeted or leaving the organization, it's personally affecting that I would still be unwelcome if I wanted to get involved in my nephew's troop. I can't get enthusiastic about this decision because of that.

However, I've only got tenuous connections to BSA - for people who are more directly involved, I can see how they might welcome this incremental change wholeheartedly. (As a girl scout from way back, I've always just been a bit bemused at BSA's overall conservatism.) It's a poor parallel, but I was definitely happy when my city began its domestic partner registry. It's a far cry from marriage (around 95% of the benefits of marriage are still unavailable, it's only valid in our city, and as a policy, it's nowhere near satisfying my desire for equal treatment under the law). But it's something, and it's more than we had before.

Thank you for sharing your great thoughts and ideas!


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